White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
This is my gift to your gina
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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