I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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