Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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