Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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