apparently the secret to your success is patron
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
