It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
