how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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