Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
