My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
