I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
