the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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