he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
