Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
