You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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