Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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