Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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