Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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