just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
God, I missed his penis.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
