That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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