Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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