I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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