I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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