now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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