This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
