Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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