It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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