I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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