All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
