You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
