Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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