Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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