I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
