We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
