So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
