all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I fill condoms, not promises.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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