we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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