guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
