Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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