I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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