Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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