ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
