brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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