I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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