haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
