I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
