we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
