i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
