he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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