Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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