Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You ruined the universe
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
