he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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