you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
