I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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