I wannas sexs uuuuu
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
