Small penises have feelings too.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize