I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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