Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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