today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
