Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
