you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize
