Buhtt sex?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
