can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize