During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
