she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
