weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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